| (no subject) |
[Feb. 16th, 2009|07:24 am] |
I want to do something crazy, I want to move somewhere where I don't know anyone again, like when I moved to Iowa or Edmonton, but I want to do it with a better attitude this time. When I moved to Edmonton I was just coming down off of an amazing and wild summer with my best friends and then they dropped me in Edmonton and I just felt abandoned and alone. This time when I move I want to go somewhere that I'm excited to be, I want to just hop in my car with my shit in the trunk and drive somewhere amazing. I want to be in a city, I would love to have the ocean around again but I would trade the ocean to move somewhere I love like Toronto. I just wish i wasn't trapped in this dead end town with no money, all I need is a little cash to get me gas and smokes for my trip and maybe a meal or two when I get there. I wouldn't even care if I had to sleep in my car for a while until I got settled in, I just hate the rut that I'm stuck in right now. I can't believe I've almost been in this fucking hole of a town for a year. scratch that almost, it has been a year. This was supposed to be a temporary thing, I was supposed to stop in Gibbons until I got my shit together a little and got myself off the drugs. Now look at me, I'm in no better condition now than I was when I showed up, I have no more money than I did back then, I have the same problems and I pretty much just got more depressed and confused.
Come spring when things warm up I'm out of here, I have a car now there shouldn't be anything stopping me. I'm going to go somewhere with lots of people to befriend, lots of girls to keep me entertained and just lots of everything that I fucking love. I am going to find my next city, and it might take a few stops but I'm going to finally find the place (in canada) that actually makes me happy. |
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| Awesome |
[Dec. 13th, 2008|12:28 pm] |
So my best friend tried to kill himself in my tub.
and he kicked a hole in it.
and then my other friend broke down my bathroom door to get him out.
so he called me and told me to come home and my car hit the ditch
then i got out after a while and spent all my money on blow and booze.
life is fucking retarded |
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| lameeeee aka bored. |
[Nov. 10th, 2008|07:12 am] |
When's the last time you ran? yesterday, when my dealer told me to meet him across town in 5 minutes.
Do your jeans have rips, tears, and holes in them? most of my clothes, I've had since highschool.. old=ripped
What are you dreading right now? - making a decision
Do you celebrate 420? - haha yeah
Do you get the full 8 hours of sleep a night? - never.
If anyone came to your house on your "lazy days" what would ya'll do? - make lots of munchies, smoke dope, listen to tunes and play video games.
Who last grabbed your ass? - some older lady at the bar.
Have you ever been on your school's track team? - in jr high.
Do you own a pair of Converse? - Nope
Did you copy and paste this survey? - yup
Do you eat raw cookie dough? - yesss
Have you ever kicked a vending machine? - yup
Don't you hate it when the radio ruins good songs by playing them over and over? I don't listen to the radio enough for it to ruin stuff.
Do you watch Trading Spaces? - i used to when i lived with my dad/step mom.
How do you eat oreos? - 2 at a time
Have you ever stayed online for a very long time waiting for someone? - in high school
Are you cocky? - I'm an interesting mix. I know I'm hot shit, but I hate myself too haha.
Could you live without a computer? - easily. i couldn't have in high school though. it was a hard addiction to kick.
Do you wear your shoes in the house? - only if i'm just running in when I'm in a hurry
Who or what sleeps with you? - no one anymore...
At what age did you find out that Santa wasn't real? kindergarten, i told everyone in my class as soon as i found out.
How many phones, house phones and cell phones are in your house? - mine and my roomates.
What do you do when you're sad? smart days: smoke pot and cigarettes like crazy.. Dumb days: Cocaine
Who would you call first if you won the lottery? \No one, I'd just disappear for a while without a word.
Last time you saw your best friend? Jan 1
Are you in high school? - nah
What jewelry are you wearing? 2 lip rings, 3 ear rings.
Is anyone on your bad side now? - yeah
What's the first thing you do when you get online? - facebook... to see if i have a message from jen.
Do you watch Grey's Anatomy?nope
How do most people spell your name? Andrew
Would you wear a boy/girlfriends clothes? - yeah, I've done it lots. i look good in girls jeans :]
Where do you work? - no where
What are you doing tomorrow? - probably finishing up that tray of brownies lol
Is Justin Timberlake becoming the next Michael Jackson? you mean they both mollest kids? yes i do think so.
Favorite name for a girl? - aeries
Favorite name for a boy? - Damien
Will you keep your last name when you get married?I'm a boy
When was the last time you left your house? - About an hour ago.
Do you return your cart? - Yes, always. I hate seeing random lonely carts in the far end of parking lots.
Do you have a dishwasher? - Thank the lord almighty.
What noise do you hear? - pokemon music that isn't really there.
Would you survive in prison? - nope, I'm be destroyed
Who is the youngest in your family? lame question
If all of your friends were going on a road trip, who would most likey overpack? - double lame question
Do you know anyone with the same name as you? lots.
What's the last thing you purchased? cookies and dope.
Do your siblings ever pay for stuff for you? nope
What brand are your pants right now? hollister
Ever been to Georgia (the state)? - nope
What irritates you most on the internet? - stupid people
What brand is your digital camera? -non exsistant
Do you watch movies with your parents? -nope
What song best describes your life right now? - donno
Do you own expensive perfume/cologne? - Nope
Are you taking college classes right now?
Do you like sushi? - yess
Do you get your hair cut every month? -its been a long time.
Do you go online everyday? - not every day.
Will you pass this survey on to 5 people? - no way |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 2nd, 2008|07:32 pm] |
first of all, I'm drunk.
So here is what I'm trying to figure out, should i move to the city or the mountains.
basically, i hate the city of edmonton so much. all it offers is ugly scenery and angry people.
my drunkness has already made me backspace 26 times.
I hate edmonton so much.
all that was keeping me there was Jenn, but i see her once a week and we're not even dating.
so what the fuck am I doing still thinking of living in the city this winter? its so shitty all winter in edmonton and I'll probably kill myself by the time december rolls around.
gitta go my friends are here. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 28th, 2008|01:48 am] |
I don't think I'm really cut out for love or relationships.
I feel like i have to keep learning that over and over and then each time I'm single for a few weeks i meet someone new and forget it all over again.
this time feels different though, this time I want to make things work with everything i have.
i just don't think i have it in me. I'm just not very good at relationships. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 3rd, 2007|05:53 am] |
just to let everyone know
I'm still alive |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 11th, 2007|06:58 am] |
I thought of the perfect ending to my movie about the last 3 years of my life
"and when the drugs finally wore off, I was just a kid sitting in the grass, alone with my thoughts... and a cigarette." |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 4th, 2007|04:09 am] |
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when someone treats you like trash, its really easy to turn into trash |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 14th, 2007|02:00 pm] |
I went to the park again today
I've been going like every day and laying under a tree
I saw a really cute girl there the other day, she was babysitting some kids and she seemed really sweet. I didn't even bother going and talking to her though, it seems so pointless when I'm just leaving here again. (plus i had hickeys all over my neck and shoulders haha). I keep hoping I'll see her again when i go to the park, but she hasn't been back yet.
I want something new, something fun and innocent. I want to find a sweet, cute and all around caring girl who makes me feel nervous and excited whenever i see her.
I think i need someone who is older than me, because lately the only girls I've been hanging out with are just graduating now (aka younger) and they are all like crazy about me to the point that I don't even need to do anything and they think I'm amazing. at first the shallow part of me thought that was sweet that i could make out with a girl who was crazy about me and they would love everything about me because I was a year or 2 older and all that lameness, but i want a girl that I need to be genuinely "me" to impress. I want a girl that would be crazy about me, but because they really like everything about me, not because I'm a cool older guy. because these girls lately don't even know anything about me, like nothing worth while anyways.
I need to get on with my life soon, I need to move somewhere slightly permanent and actually look for something real, cause lately it just feels like I'm trying to get through the day, only to find the next day is just as lame and useless as the one i just got through.
well thats all my random mid afternoon thoughts
later |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 4th, 2007|07:00 am] |
I feel like A bomb went off in my life
Emily has a new boyfriend
I think some of my old friends don't like who i am anymore
I don't like who i am anymore
I haven't talked to my parents in forever
I don't wanna complain about the rest but mostly just wanted to get that off my chest. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 29th, 2007|07:45 am] |
I feel like I'm in 11th grade again
its weird |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 26th, 2007|07:59 am] |
I'm being dumb
but its fun
I love Iowa and all it has to offer
if i haven't seen you yet, its only because I've got a billion people to visit
but don't fret, I'm gonna be here a little while
I love you all
-Andrew |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 20th, 2007|04:41 am] |
Sooooo
I'm tired of getting jerked around by one of my friends... so I'm gonna come to des moines and if things don't change I'm gonna stop being their friend. I think its fair...
I don't deserve to be treated like this |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 16th, 2007|06:24 pm] |
Don't you dare
Speak for someone you don't know
They'll feel it in the back of their throat
We know I cant construct a poem
'Cause words like girls get bored and run
c'est la vie
I say "I've got so many better things"
I've got nothing
you should see me
I smoke myself to sleep
And blame postmodern things I cant relate
Like summer camp and coastal states
Like alcohol and coffee beans
Dance floors and magazines
I think its safe to say I've only got
myself to blame
But boys in swooping haircuts
are bringing me down
Taking pictures of themselves
oh no
“Boys in swooping haircuts you know who you are”
And so I walk the web in search of love
But always seem to end up stuck
I'm finding flaws in everyone.
I've reached the point where all I want
Is to sleep around in hopes that I will catch back up
We are parallel lines
We’re running in circles
We're never meant to cross
I'm at a loss
You were my tangerine
My pussycat, my trampoline
Now all's I get are wincing cheeks
And dog problems
I signed a lease
Thinking my heart belonged
at 93rd and park
Instead I broke a girls heart
And flew back to Phoenix
to finish the year as it started
Can you hear me?
Are you listening?
This is the sound of my heart breaking
And I hope it's entertaining
Cause for me
it's a bitch
Was it worth it?
When you slept with him?
Did you get it all out of your system?
I am a man
Holding it all
I couldn’t breath
Coming across
I didn’t know
I couldn’t get up
B is for believing you'd always be here for me
E is for everything, even when we'd see it though
C, C is for seeing through you, you are a fake, which brings me to...
A because, because, you always run away
I never finish phrases I misspell
An open arm's a prison cell
When I said, "I hate what I've become"
I lied, I hated who I was
So when you start to wonder
about the pain in my throat,
Then don't you ever, no never ever
Speak for someone
You
don't
know |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 14th, 2007|02:29 am] |
man, life is crazy sometimes...
like, you think something is the end of the world
but the next day, you wake up, and you're still here, and life goes on. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 13th, 2007|04:05 am] |
Got kicked out of college today... I'm officially Expelled
no job
no girlfriend
very little friends
no family
kicked out of school
no home
no money
depressed
I've got nothing left.. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 10th, 2007|01:39 pm] |
Okay
this weekend was craaazzzyyyy!
basically, I went to Edmonton Alberta to check it out because i'm going to live there soon. and we stayed at my friend brads parents house. Soooo right before i left Emily was super Grumpy at me and I felt like it was a sucky way to leave our friendship for the weekend. but we get to edmonton and we are Exhausted so we sit in Brad's Giant bed and in like 5 seconds we fell asleep, and in the morning his parents were super quiet and awkward, and it turned out that they thought we were gay together...
I saw all the sites the city had to offer, the biggest mall in north america, and other junk, and whenever i talked to emily briefly online it was really sucky so I just felt like we were pretty much done being friends.
Now somehow after a huge conversation and fight we have a phone date tonight. pretty weird, but I'm looking forward to it i think.
but right now I'm in class so i should go...
-Andrew |
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| useless blog. don't bother to read it haha |
[Apr. 3rd, 2007|10:04 pm] |
Ugh
I don't really know whats wrong... Sometimes I feel like things will be okay, and I get really excited for going to Edmonton and living with Brad and stuff, and sometimes all i can think about is everything sucky.
I donno what it is about me, but I'm just easily ditched this week too, like I've been ditched by EVERYONE.
I feel lame. And I just want this stuff with emily to be over. I want us to either get back toghether or just back off for a while...
weird news: I've been sending messages back and forth with bailey(my second longest relationship) on facebook and I've really been enjoying talking to her, which is strange because we ended on a not so nice note over a year and a half ago.
The end |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 31st, 2007|05:45 am] |
I baked a casserole with my friend brad today
It was fun :) and random |
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